2003-03-30 at 2:02 p.m.
Mike came up to me and told me, "Kenni, look, I don't want to scare you away, but what can you do from the past?? You can learn from it or you can run from it, but if you run, it will catch up with you. What are you going to do? I'm choosing to forgive you, no questions asked, ok?" I was sooo close to crying. I didn't want him to see me cry again... I didn't really want him to see me... period.
"Mike, you don't know half of what I've done." I was hoping that would scare him off.
"I know enough to know that you aren't scare to share what others would think as painful. You are transparent and hold very few secrets." He looked at me with those eyes that were soulful and could see in the innermost parts of me. The part that scared me is that he did know practically everything about me.
"Mike, I don't think I deserve you."
"We don't deserve God or His gift of His Son... but we still got it." He looked as if he wanted to kiss me and give me a hug, and I wanted it, but I couldn't run to him, he'd think I'd always be like that.... But I did it anyways.
"I'm sorry, Mike. I wronged you. I know you forgive me. Thanks. I want to be your girl again." I cried on his shoulder.
"I had a dream, Kenni." I looked at him. "I dreamt that after we graduated college, we got married outside of canadian on this ranch in the middle of no where and that all of the county came for it. And then when we kissed, and the whole wedding party applauded." He looked piercingly into my eyes. "And Kenni, tha's when I knew that God had meant for us to be together. Maybe not until after college, but He put us together, don't you see? For as long as we both live, I will love you. Forever. Then he leaned forward, embraced me and gave me a kiss, maybe not as passionate as Zeth's, but I knew it was from his heart and not his mind. I gained a whole new respect for him. He loved me with all his being, but it was his love for God that kept us together. And tha's when I knew that we would be married, I had waited diligently and prayed for him with out knowing it was him. But you know, he hasn't proposed yet... he just said we'd be together forever. So I'll wait for that day when he proposes... after high school.
As far as me being angry... I'm not at myself, or at God, or at mike, but I still have to forgive Zeth and Tiffani. And i'm getting there..... slowly.
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