When we got out of school at one today, I was at my car. I just got it. It's an old Lincoln, but I still like it. It runs at least. I'm fumbling for my keys when I feel someone breathing on my neck. I quickly went through my mental list of who it could be. It COULD be anyone, but I didn't think it would be Mike. He told me earlier he was going to leave early to go to his mom's for easter since he didn't want to spend it here with his dad and his "future step mom" (I don't think he likes her... not since she forced her way into living with his dad.) He told me "Kenni, I love you and I want to spend this weekend with you, but I need to visit my mom to get this whole thing with Dad out of my way. I can't stand the thought of her living in my house. I don't like it." But guess who it was? It was mike. I almost punched him thinking it was a stalker or something! "MIKE!!" I looked at him as though he were a sex offender I just saw on America's Most Wanted. "What are you doing here? I thought you'd be gone?" He looked at me and just smiled. "I got news from my mom that she's coming here for a change to visit. She's going to stay at my Dad's Parents' house since they absolutely adore her." I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure," I said. He laughed. "Kenni, if you only knew." Ok, freak me out why don't ya. If i only knew what? I know Sandy and Matt are engaged and that Mike doesn't like his dad's girlfriend and that his grandparents can be total dorks. Ok, I admit it, I am a Band Nerd (but so is he). And I know he's in love with me and that I'm in love with him. What DON'T I know? "Is it something I NEED to know, or can I just go on and be merry and live the life of a merry woman?" And, if you can even imagine, Mike burst out laughing... AGAIN! "I'll give you a hint. Do you know where Sarah is?" I just looked at him. "She's prolly with Wil and making out right now while she seriously contemplates abortion as the solution to her problems." Mike looked at me for a while before he said "She's with my grandparents. Her parents kicked her out because they discovered she's pregnant and she came to me for help. Now you know my grandparents, they drag everyon in their house to church. So now she's living with them and going to church with them at a church that doesn't condemn. Plus, a couple has already come up to her and said they wanted to adopt her kid, whether it be a boy or girl when it's born. She doesn't have to raise it. And she and wil broke up again, only this time it was Wil who broke up with her. Do you know what he told her? 'This is not what God wants. I'm sorry' So she's single again. Kenni, God's working miracles through these mistakes!!!" That got me depressed. I'm happy for Sarah and all, but it just got me thinking about my mistakes and about Zeth... and about how much I just wanted to die because of that. But Mike took my hand and led me to his truck so that he could give me a ride home. I guess he saw I was depressed. It the entire seven months we've been going out, it seems that God keeps showing me that he's for me... that God DESTINED us to be together. And that all along that was my dream... One I had long before I moved this summer. Maybe Mike's it. But I don't know... this is all happening too fast. I wish I could just stop and freeze my story, but it'll never happen. I guess I'm stuck with this life.... I guess I'll just have to keep trudging along....

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Sarah just called and told me "I'm sorry Kenni. I shoulda listened to you more, but now Wil and I are through... forever. And this kid inside of me that's growing, and this pudge tha's just now beginning to show is going to have a mommy and a daddy that care for it more than I can ever, but I know that this child will always be my first. Man, do I feel like I'm twenty-somethin' instead of seventeen! Well, I just wanted to apologize. Thanks for praying for me." Maybe life is looking up!

<>< Kenni

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