2003-05-05 at 9:11 p.m.
It's been hard this weekend knowing that I wasn't with him any more. In my heart, I know I did what was best, but I still hurt. Sarah has been a dear and has let me cry. She stayed at my house this weekend and kept me busy along with my little cousin. We saw Chicago, and we didn't really like it. We both agreed the music was good, but the story was warped and not great. and she took me to the mall and has been very patient with me. I wonder if I was that way with her. She has made me realize that I'm blessed to have a friend like her.
I still hurt, but I'm leaving tomorrow before lunch for State in FCCLA. I hope we advance. But I won't be around a computer until Friday night if I can even get on... Who knows?
I walked down the hall today and looked at the floor most of the way to break, but the one time I did look up, there was Mike and he looked at me soo longingly. It's hard for me to think everything's so fine and dandy when I can't have the one I love. What will happen with us? I really do love him, but I know that right now God has something different planned for us. I am just tired of waiting to find out.
I love him, but I guess I need to work on loving God more.