2003-05-11 at 2:13 p.m.
It was weird at church today. I went into Sunday School wanting to sit next to Mike, but at the same time, not wanting to. I want to be with him more than he'll ever know but he has to do God's will, which I know right now it to go to Switzerland and help out the children in need. I want to go with him. I want to stand by his side forever, but I can't. I'll be going on with my senior year and getting my senior ring finally, and he'll be off to college in the Alps. I'll always love him.
On the radio, my parents are listening to this organ music. It's really weird. The program is "Pipe Dreams" and I think it's crazy. I love the sound of organs. They can sound happy or sad.
I went to Sarah's last night. We had this "girl's night of fun" party where the goal was to cheer me up. Sarah has friend's all over the place now! So she invited a few of them over for this party that started at six and ended at midnight or whenever everyone wanted to leave. It was come and go, mainly. We ate Chicken Express, or rather, they ate it. I asked for a salad because Chicken E had too many memories. They were nice about it. Then we watched "Princess Bride" and we cracked up, mainly cuz of the sugar and caffeine buzz we had. But it was like it was the first time I'd seen it, although it really wasn't. That movie is so cheesey, it's FUNNY! And in a weird way it gave me hope. If it took Westley five years to come back for Buttercup and she knew she'd love him only, then by golly, I can wait four years. I almost wanted to run over to Mike this afternoon after church and say "I can't do this, I love you too much to let you go this easily," but I remembered why I told him to go. This was something God wanted for him and I couldn't get in the way. Why does this happen to me?
I still hurt, but something about it is making me go "Whoohoo! God do something awesome, ok?"
I'm gonna go now because I have homework that I need to have done by tomorrow. I think that three assignment in Pre-Cal, questions in physics, and Spanish is a little too much to procrastinate on!!!