2003-06-23 at 10:25 p.m.
This part of the state is enchanted, I say. I went outside to do something for mom and all around me were... get this... Faeries! Ok, maybe not faeries, but there were a lot of Fire Flies, or lightning bugs, depending on what you know them as. The brief glimpses of the light that comes from within is awesome! I remember being younger and visiting my great-grandma's house and running around trying to catch one, or several. I'd look at them for hours, but I'd never let them die. I'd always free them. They are something magical!
I wonder now, as a seventeen yearold, whether or not I should believe in magic. I want to! The part of me that is a little child tells me, "Faeries are real! Just believe!" But the older, more mature part says, "Magic isn't cool. It's evil and God doesn't like it." I know magic isn't real, but it's so cool. Which side do I believe?
Sometimes I hate growing up. When I was younger I thought my life would be like Cinderella's or Belle's and that I'd find my true love and we'd live in a fairytale, but as I grow older I realize that isn't true, although a part of me wishes it were. I don't know. I just want to be someone of worth, someone that everyone loves, and someone who will live happily ever after. Meanwhile, my parents are arguing worse than ever, my homelife isn't happy, and I want Mike.
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