2003-06-29 at 9:49 p.m.
The other day, I broke up with him. It's final. He took me to Wal-Mart where we went all over the store looking for this "thing". Only he didn't tell me what it was, so I wasn't looking for it. While I was looking at magazines, I guess he found it because he began urging me to go. Then he gave me the keys and told him to cool off his car. No Problem, right? When he got in the car, the "thing" must've been in his pocket and the receipt in his wallet because I didn't see him with anything. We went to his house and began watching The Princess Diaries. He started kissing me again, and I pulled away. "Mike, I thought we'd agreed we weren't doing this anymore."
"Come on, baby. It's just some fun!" He walked toward me and kissed me and started leading me into his room with a King size bed. I pulled away.
"We're through, Mike. If you can't respect me, then get a life and mistreat another girl that you can sleep with. What is wrong with you, Mike? You used to be the most gentlemanly guy out there, and you respected me. What happened to you?" Tears were caught in my throat. "I'm sorry it's come to this, I really am." I walked out and the tears started rolling. Fortunately, his grandparents are only a couple of blocks away, so I went and visited Sarah. Then I came home.
There's no excuse why I didn't write yesterday. I couldn't bring myself to write. You know, I may be wandering through life, but I really don't think I'm lost. I'm right where God wants me. It's back to that no-dating thing. I can't do this again, not with Mike, nor with any guy.
Life is ok without him. He moved to Odessa. I think he's going to the UT campus there. He can't make up his mind. I'm praying for him though. Yes, he hurt me, but I think if he realizes that, his life would be better. He didn't need me. I didn't need him.
I don't hurt like the first two times we went separate ways. This seems more final.